Initiatives of Change - People Building Trust

In July 2004, on the site of Wat Rajabo, an 18th Century Buddhist pagoda in the Cambodian city of Siem Riep, 230 young Asians were crammed into a hall. Among them were 17 Vietnamese. Welcoming them to the opening session of the 11th Asia Pacific Youth Conference (APYC) convened by Initiatives of Change, a young Khmer woman admitted that she found it difficult to love those from her powerful and larger neighbour.

Some Vietnamese were hurt and angry and decided to return home. 'Why should we stay in a place where we are not wanted?' said one.

Two years previously, at an APYC in Malaysia, a senior Vietnamese from Britain – whose experience of living in Cambodia as a child had sensitized her to their feelings – graciously apologized to the young Cambodians present for what her nation had done in Cambodia following the downfall of the Pol Pot regime. Her gesture deeply moved the Cambodians present. 'I never thought that the Vietnamese would understand the pain and suffering I felt as a Cambodian,' said one of them. He and his friends had returned home wanting to see a change in relationships between the two countries. It was one of the reasons they had organized the APYC in Cambodia. They were not about to let it fail.

They convinced the Vietnamese participants to stay. Night after night, after the day's conference programme, they talked about the things that divided them. Carvings on the famous Angkor Thom ruins, which they toured, depicted wars and invasions between their countries, dating back to the 12th Century. The Vietnam-Cambodian war, which led to the ousting of Pol Pot in 1979, occupation by Vietnamese troops and continuing territorial disputes, is still living history for many.

By the final session of the APYC a week later, the girl who had revealed her distrust was standing next to her new Vietnamese friend, each wearing a broad smile and the traditional costume of the other's country. On the bus back to Phnom Penh, the youth of both countries sat together, singing each other's songs and enjoying each other's company.

Emails flew back and forth between the new friends and soon they realized that the informal dialogue they had started needed more time. Within months they had organized the first Cambodia-Vietnam Dialogue (CVD) in Vietnam. On a mountainside in the resort of Dalat, the 22 participants spent time reflecting, sharing what matters to young people, irrespective of nationality. People realized they had the same needs, problems and dreams. They began to see each other as human beings, not as Cambodians or Vietnamese.

None of the Cambodians had ever travelled to Vietnam. They were taken to underground tunnels preserved since the 'American war', toured Ho Chi Minh City and had dialogues with university students. Home stays helped to make them feel special. Vietnamese parents spoke of their distrust. But the young Cambodians warmed them, giving a different picture of their people. Attitudes long held slowly started to melt away.

The Vietnamese took their Cambodian guests to Kampuchea Krom – a part of Vietnam which used to belong to Cambodia – meeting the Khmer-speaking community and joining in their traditional festival. For Cambodians who still feel pain at the loss of this land, this was a significant and emotional visit.

'We did not need to use polite words,' wrote one Vietnamese. 'Perhaps some people still think of the past and negative aspects of Vietnam-Cambodia relations but… of course a better future for us is ahead.'

Another said they needed to look beyond just friendship to 'the relationship between our two countries. We should build it up… through exchange visits, training activities, welcoming each other's ideas. If we have spirit and money we can make it happen.'

Well, yes, for struggling students and young people just starting work, money is always an issue. Fortunately, as well as support from the Initiatives of Change network, a number of international NGOs saw their potential. The American Friends Service Committee in Cambodia supported that first dialogue in 2004, and have continued since, also giving training and facilitation as the inexperienced teams have set their objectives and programmes. More recently, training and support has come from the International Centre for Conciliation, Church World Service, German Development Service, Maryknoll and the Mennonite Central Committee.

The process naturally led to a further Cambodia-Vietnam Dialogue, CVD2, this time in Camboda. The Vietnamese came, knowing that many Cambodians resented their nation. Some applicants in Vietnam had not been allowed to join because of parents' fears for their safety. Yet again, home stays helped to break down barriers. Besides sharing their lives, concerns and relationships, they listened to respected Cambodians from civil society and development agencies speaking about peace-building. 'Open Space' sessions allowed participants to discuss their mutual histories without feeling they had to
prove anything to each other.

CVD3 returned to Vietnam in 2007. The 45 participants were asked to list what they 'knew' about each other as a people. Two Cambodian assumptions about Vietnamese were that they were 'loud and eat dog meat'. On the other hand, the Vietnamese felt Cambodians were 'lazy, and that law and order in their country was terrible'. Each side was given the chance to respond. 'By discussing our prejudices openly we gradually came to understand each other,' wrote one Vietnamese. 'We realized that a lack of communication and of sharing of resources leads to negative cycles, to lack of trust. When we have a shared vision we make relationships better. There is more trust. We can be more open-minded.'

Some of this year’s CVD4 at the Royal Palace in Phnom Penh

Listening within oneself and beyond' was at the heart of the process in the latest CVD4, taking place over 10 days in Cambodia. The programme included producing historical time-lines, learning to cook each other's food, practising non-violent communication, creating skits. At the opening session, His Excellency Son Soubert (member of Cambodia's Constitutional Council) challenged the 50 participants to have the courage to face the facts of past history, but then to create their own history and not to depend on what was passed on to them.

'Before I came here I heard rumours about the Cambodian people and I feared for my safety,' said one Vietnamese. 'I've come to realize that the people are great, and I know I have to do something to heal and break the rumours against each other.' And then, referring to the core process in these IofC programmes of inner reflection in silence, he continued: 'I like the quiet time because it creates a time for me to look back into my life and my heart. It creates a time for me to tell myself I can do more.'

Many have found themselves 'doing more' as a result of these dialogues – and not just in their attitudes to each other. Teams have formed to cook food for street people and for poor patients at hospitals. Others have adopted rural schools and villages, raising money to take books to distribute to poor students, taking their philosophy and values into village schools. Clean-up campaigns have been organized around pagodas, always involving time for discussion on attitudes and responsibilities.

Such a dialogue may not impact the hard political and economic realities which still scar relations in the region. Yet a new generation are preparing themselves to bring a different reality in the future. As one participant at the last CVD said: 'All our past problems will be lessons for the young generation to learn in order not to make the same mistakes.'

Or as another said, 'We came as strangers, but now see how close we are.'