'No matter what you have done…'

Living Peace Conference Audience

'No matter what you have done…'

Thursday, 16. February 2017

Erhling Wang, from Taiwan, is 33, married with one son. When she was one month old she was sold by her birth parents – this is her story.

Erhling Wang‘I was sold by my birth parents when I was one month old.  Although I knew I was an adopted child when I was 8, I still got along with my adoptive parents quite well since I strongly believed that they loved me and they treated me as their own. When I was 12 years old they separated, and as they were negotiating over which one would keep me, my adoptive father, whom I adored, said, ‘She’s not my real child and I don’t love her anyway’. I was very confused and angry when I heard what he said. I couldn’t believe it. I buried a seed of hatred in my heart. I stayed with my adoptive mother who was a polio victim. I grew up with a deep fear of abandonment. I could not safely love anyone and was full of hate. I took it out on society by cheating, stealing and hurting people.

In 2005, I joined a programme called Action for Life which was held by IofC. In this programme, I started to listen to the inner voice. And I began to address all the anger that was inside me. I wrote many letters to my adoptive father, though not knowing where he was I never posted any of them. Finally I was able to write, ‘Father, no matter what you have done, I respect you as a father. I forgive and love you’. I started to get on with people, apologized to my teacher for cheating and paid back money to the shop from which I had stolen. The shop owner said I had restored his hope. I tried to be part of the answer rather than part of the problem in society and tried to be a creator of peace.

In 2010, my adoptive father’s new wife called me to tell me that he was very sick. I went to visit him, but he couldn’t speak. I started crying. I looked at him, held his hand and kept saying ‘Thank you’ to him. I saw there were tears in his eyes, too. At that moment, both of us got released. The only thing left in our relationship is love.   

Before I came to Caux for the ‘Living Peace’ conference, I had just completed my Masters’ thesis. My thesis is about self-narrative. So I had the chance to look back over my life. I discovered that the original source of my life is from my birth parents. And actually there was a deep wound inside my heart which I had never faced. Through quiet time, reflection and writing, I got to face the pain. When I stayed with my pain of being abandoned by my birth parents, I gradually could feel their pain too. After I became a mother, I have common feeling and empathy with them, especially my birth mother. How difficult it must have been to give away their child. I cried for them and for myself. I learned to accept my destiny and to say yes to whatever is God’s plan for me. When I had the connection with the source of my life, I also found love and faith in it.