Erhling Wang, from Taiwan, is 33, married with one son. When she was one month old she was sold by her birth parents – this is her story.
‘I was sold by my birth parents when I was one month old. Although I knew I was an adopted child when I was 8, I still got along with my adoptive parents quite well since I strongly believed that they loved me and they treated me as their own. When I was 12 years old they separated, and as they were negotiating over which one would keep me, my adoptive father, whom I adored, said, ‘She’s not my real child and I don’t love her anyway’. I was very confused and angry when I heard what he said. I couldn’t believe it. I buried a seed of hatred in my heart. I stayed with my adoptive mother who was a polio victim. I grew up with a deep fear of abandonment. I could not safely love anyone and was full of hate. I took it out on society by cheating, stealing and hurting people.
In 2005, I joined a programme called Action for Life which was held by IofC. In this programme, I started to listen to the inner voice. And I began to address all the anger that was inside me. I wrote many letters to my adoptive father, though not knowing where he was I never posted any of them. Finally I was able to write, ‘Father, no matter what you have done, I respect you as a father. I forgive and love you’. I started to get on with people, apologized to my teacher for cheating and paid back money to the shop from which I had stolen. The shop owner said I had restored his hope. I tried to be part of the answer rather than part of the problem in society and tried to be a creator of peace.
In 2010, my adoptive father’s new wife called me to tell me that he was very sick. I went to visit him, but he couldn’t speak. I started crying. I looked at him, held his hand and kept saying ‘Thank you’ to him. I saw there were tears in his eyes, too. At that moment, both of us got released. The only thing left in our relationship is love.
Before I came to Caux for the ‘Living Peace’ conference, I had just completed my Masters’ thesis. My thesis is about self-narrative. So I had the chance to look back over my life. I discovered that the original source of my life is from my birth parents. And actually there was a deep wound inside my heart which I had never faced. Through quiet time, reflection and writing, I got to face the pain. When I stayed with my pain of being abandoned by my birth parents, I gradually could feel their pain too. After I became a mother, I have common feeling and empathy with them, especially my birth mother. How difficult it must have been to give away their child. I cried for them and for myself. I learned to accept my destiny and to say yes to whatever is God’s plan for me. When I had the connection with the source of my life, I also found love and faith in it.